2008 Predictions
Staff editorial

The blog is proud to announce its 2008 predictions for Mission Viejo:

With no end in sight for the road widening project, the Ranch will buy Crown Valley Parkway. The Ranch will realize it can build 14,000 homes faster than the city can widen the road.

The business savvy Mission Viejo City Council will sell Crown Valley Parkway (construction cost incurred by the city: $70 million) to the Ranch for $1.50.

After the Ranch buys Crown Valley Parkway, it will change the name of the road to Roger Faubel Parking Lot for his impressive job of educating the public with signs, “Information coming soon,” to explain why traffic is stopped.

City Council incumbents will run on a platform of extending term limits because they’ve done such a bang-up job of keeping their campaign promises.

The city staff will discover two new potential sites for a dog park (inside the Canyon Crest clubhouse and on the blacktop at Newhart school). Although more popular than some of the other sites, both will be rejected.

Frank Ury, after promising to bury the power lines in 2004, will run in 2008 on a promise to move the Los Angeles Angels to Mission Viejo. Angels Stadium will allegedly be at Gilleran Park, to be renamed Ury Regional Park (U.R.P.).

The city’s economic development contractor (hired in June 2007) will have a hard time bringing new businesses to Mission Viejo. The contractor will respond to the city staff’s new city slogan (“Making living your mission”) by saying, “You call this living? You can’t make a living here. The council rezoned all the commercial property to residential.”

The city staff will alter its slogan to “Making sitting in traffic your mission.”

Junior high kids will hack into the city’s electronic sign at La Paz and Marguerite, which will alternately flash “Loosest slots in town” and “Shrimp cocktail 99 cents.” High numbers of Garden Grove residents will move to Mission Viejo.