The Buzz column, May 8

Excerpt from info forwarded to The Buzz, a letter to a U.S. Senator: “As a U.S. citizen and excellent customer of the IRS, I am asking for your assistance. I have contacted the Dept. of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien. According to a bill recently passed by the Senate, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one. Additionally, as an illegal alien, I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary healthcare provider. Illegal status would relieve me of renewing my driver’s license and making car insurance payments. If you would tell me of the process of becoming illegal, I would be most appreciative.”

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Isn’t it about time for Councilman Frank Ury to come up with another phony campaign to save the city? With his reelection on the horizon – November 2008 – and a record of zero accomplishments, he needs a gimmick. In 2004, he claimed he would get the power lines buried – at almost no cost to residents, of course. The scheme fooled so many people that two other candidates (Diane Greenwood and Justin McCusker) tried it again in 2006. McCusker had a secret plan to get the lines buried, based on closed-session information that was likely leaked by his mentor, Frank Ury. After McCusker lost his bid, he moved to Rancho Santa Margarita and took the secret plan with him.

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The Buzz asked several blog readers for suggestions to help Ury with a campaign slogan for 2008. In 2004, he used a group calling itself No Overhead Powerlines by Edison – N.O.P.E. A city activist informed The Buzz that Ury is lately focused on city sports and recreation supporters, particularly Little League. Residents should remember Ury proposed a regional sports complex, likely to pay back one of his campaign financiers from San Diego County. Perhaps he can run on a recreation platform this time with one of the following acronyms: Ballplayers And Recreation Fans for Frank – B.A.R.F.F.; Combining Recreation And Politics – C.R.A.P.; Boost Ury with Little Leaguers – B.U.L.L.

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Reader reaction to the rumor Justin McCusker got a job in Supervisor Pat Bates’ office: “That will come in real handy. The next time he becomes a candidate, he can say he was a county supervisor. In 2006 he said he was a college professor after teaching one part-time class at Saddleback. He worked as a go-fer in Bill Morrow’s office and said he had experience negotiating with the governor. His whole campaign was hot air.”

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Reader reaction to a Buzz item about city signs with council members’ names: “I saw the signs along Felipe where council members have their names listed as if they’re taking credit for any project funded by taxpayers. Is it not enough that each city building has a set of large color portraits of the council members? I practically gag every time I walk into the community center or library. If they want to put their names on every project taxpayers pay for, I am eagerly awaiting a sign in Melinda Park acknowledging this council’s decision to pay $375,000 for a public toilet. I won’t be surprised if they want their official portraits in the new city outhouse.”